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…Come one, come all, welcome to the grand ball

Where the strong run for cover and the weak stand tall

…I’m not ashamed, I’m not afraid
I’m not okay, welcome to the masquerade

-Welcome to the Masquerade, Thousand Foot Krutch

I wish you could see me as my Lord does. He calls me flawless because He sees me through Christ’s blood. Do you see me like that? No. I can see it in your eyes that you don’t, I can picture it perfectly in my fearful imagination. Slowly, slowly, you will see all my flaws, and slowly, ever-so-slowly but steadily you will drift away from me.

But I dislike all things fake. So I shall risk being real when I meet you, and risk losing you as you get to know me. I can picture the fading love in your eyes as you find out I’m not perfect.

And I’m afraid.

But I can’t and will not wear a mask, this is no masquerade. I’m not princess, just a peasant girl adopted by the King.

I wish you knew me and could love me as Christ loved the church. But you are human, and I’m so afraid fairy tales don’t come true. Do not promise me they’re real unless you mean it. A melted heart doesn’t do my any good if it only hardens when my sin nature shows itself again. Love must be more than infatuation and warmth, but what is it? I don’t know. Perhaps it is patience and kindness in a verse I memorized as a child. Perhaps it’s harder as I grow up.

I wish I knew you. I wish you knew me. I wish I knew how to love. I wish you’d love me all the days of our lives. Please, tell me fairy tales do come true.