Pornography is a huge problem in our society, though not everyone believes that it is a problem. I was at a training recently (I work in the school district), and the speaker mentioned pornography. “It’s fine if you do it at home,” he told us, “Just don’t use school computers for it.” Excuse me?! You’re telling us pornography is “fine”?!
Here’s why it’s not fine:
It destroys marriages. My parents counseled a family several years ago who were dealing with that in their marriage. It’s basically like the guy has a harem: a wife to satisfy his physical needs, and multiple other women to lust over. Do you have ANY idea how that makes a woman feel?
Here’s how it makes a woman feel:
They feel they have to compete with it. They feel they have to look prettier, be more attractive, etc. If women do not already have a strong sense of how precious they are to God, then pornography will destroy them. Pornography is a very, very painful thing to women. It hurts a lot.
Here’s what it does to the men:
It desensitizes them. They are getting the “vibe” without actually having sex. I’ve told guys before, and it’s quite true: “When you do that, it’s the same as sleeping around. It hurts.” It teaches them that women are objects, not precious daughters of God. And it’s not just pictures nowadays, it’s sick and twisted videos. IT’S SICK. Sex is supposed to be the ultimate chemical and emotional bonding of a man and a woman bound in a marriage covenant, to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. WOMEN ARE NOT OBJECTS!
That said, let me say something else: The men who look at pornography are not monsters. Yes, they need to own up to what they’re doing and be seeking active help to get rid of that sin in their life. But, they should never be treated as anything less than precious to God. Odds are, they most likely feel terrible enough about it (if they have a good heart and a conscience), and they don’t need you judging them and making them feel worse about it. They need help. They don’t need you to beat them over the head. You will never help them by doing that.
All that said, let me say something to the parents out there: protect your sons. When our family moved, my brother got the larger of the two extra rooms, and it had a computer in it. Our computer guy was a fellow from our church, and he told my parents: “You know what’s out there. It’s not wise for a young, teenage boy to have private access to the internet.” And so, my brother did not have access to the internet in his room. We had internet, but it was on the main computer which was in the middle of the house in plain sight. THAT is how I believe parents should do things. Help your son keep the purity and innocence of his mind. Provide him with that accountability. Teach him to be accountable. HELP him. He needs you.
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“Following Your Feet, A Young Woman’s Journey”
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