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Don’t date someone who is critical, or be around people who are critical. It’s not good for you. It really messes you up as a person. You start seeing things wrong in you that aren’t even there. For me, it feels like I’m being picked apart bit by bit. I start to feel like everything I do is wrong. And then I start thinking there’s something wrong with me.

There’s not something wrong with you. Don’t ever believe that.

In my life, I have people I trust who speak encouragement into my life, and sometimes words of correction (which, anyone who knows me, like *cough * my mom, knows that I rarely take it well the first time. But then I reflect on it, and figure out what I want to do with their advice). People like that are good to have in your life. They’re not picking you apart. They encourage you, uplift you, hold you in the hard times, rejoice with you in the good times, and offer godly wisdom when you’re going down a path that isn’t good.

Critical people don’t do that. They go out of their way to find things wrong with you, your lifestyle, what you like, what you dislike–everything. To them, nothing you do is ever “right.” They are constantly wanting to “fix” your life, and you.

People like that want to conform you to who they want you to be. They want control over you. They desire control, and this is their way of getting it. You are not allowed to disagree with them. You are not allowed to voice your opinions. You are not even allowed to have a point of view. You must look like, be like, and act like that perfect person (who doesn’t exist, except in their imaginations).

My mom and I are strong willed. She went through some awful things in her early twenties. I’ve gone through some awful things in my early twenties. We are both “survivors,” as my mom says. We are also both very naturally strong-willed and women of our own minds.

My mom and I don’t always see eye-to-eye. Sometimes she worries about me more than I would like (like when I go out kayaking on my own). Sometimes she drives me crazy (and I drive her crazy). But, you know what? We’re always there for each other.

I’ve literally been my mom’s hands in feet over the years as she’s undergone multiple hip, knee, etc. replacements. She’s been my every-day phone call when I needed someone to talk to off at university. Right now she’s that hug I need when I’m feeling low and depressed. You can live through a hard time in your life and still be a loving person.

You don’t have to be a critical and controlling person. And if you are, ask yourself, “Why am I like this? Why am I choosing to act like this?” Give it over to God. Confess that you see this pattern of living in your life, and ask Him to help heal you from it. He wants you to speak words of life, not death. Put your faith in Him, and don’t put other people down. It’s not cool.

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Also, you can check out my book at Lulu.com 🙂

“Following Your Feet, A Young Woman’s Journey”

Page Count: 288

Price: $13.95

http://www.lulu.com/shop/arielle-marie/following-your-feet/paperback/product-22393509.html

Following Your Feet

 

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