There are not too many people who agree with me on this–even in the “Christian” community. They say I’m being “too legalistic.”
I’m not. And here’s why:
Making out should be saved for marriage. Here’s why: I don’t like the idea that I’m putting my future husband through the knowledge that I have “made out” with a guy before him. The same way as I don’t want the images in my mind of what might have gone on between him and past girls in his life.
Is kissing wrong, or evil? No. But “making out” is SO uncool.
My first boyfriend… Well, he wasn’t a good man. Looking back, he made it a “make or break” that his girlfriend would kiss him. I prayed about it, asked “godly” advice, and then decided it would be okay. I regret that.
He didn’t want a kiss, as he’d first told me. He wanted “making out,” though I didn’t know that at the time. Our first kiss was gross. We’d only been dating a month or so, when he texted me that “make or break.” It was so gross. And he used it to get “pleasure,” which made me feel uncomfortable and shamed and humiliated. My soul told me it was bad, and now, I feel filthy and used and violated because of it.
That wasn’t the only thing he tried. Believe me, it wasn’t.
I think in time, he would have convinced himself that raping me was okay. He certainly seemed to think that acting physically threatening was okay.
When a man insists you kiss him, flee.
When a man tries to talk you into sticking his hand under your clothing, tell him a staunch no as I did, and then flee. Never speak to him again. Flee.
When a man acts carnally, seeking to please his flesh, flee.
When a man thinks getting “close” to you on the couch is okay, flee.
When a man touches you where no man ever should, flee. Don’t just move his hand. Flee.
And never be afraid to hit a man. Scratch him. Take a chunk out of his arm with your teeth. Hit him. Give him a bloody nose. Make him regret trying to hurt you–if he attacks you.
And never, NEVER trust a man who tries to talk you into coming over to your house when no one is home but the two of you, no matter how persuasive his words are. I never regretted setting that safety precaution–and keeping to it. Though he tried, many times, to make me ashamed of my boundaries.
Don’t just trust him because everyone thinks he’s trustworthy. Sometimes the worst men are the one who seem “great” to the whole wide world. God knows their heart. And out of the overflow of their heart, the mouth will speak. Bad trees bear bad fruit. Know this, and flee.
I should have told him no to the kissing. I don’t think I sinned though. My decision was born out of a pure heart. I wanted to not be legalistic. And I didn’t do it out of “passion.” I did it to be loving.
But if I could go back, I would change so much.
I would change so much.