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Dear Men of the Christian World:

I am not some prize.

I am not for you to show off to your church, your friends, all of Facebook.

I am not someone to take “pleasure” from in a “friendship” (Guys who friendzone girls deserve to be drawn and quartered. And no, I haven’t seen Braveheart. But I know my history well. And yes, I mean it. Drawn. And. Quartered.

I do not put up with wishy-washy sentiment.

Like me, or don’t. I don’t care.

If you want respect, then act worthy of it. Men: Maybe women aren’t respecting you because you are being an idiot. Ever think of that? Don’t come crying if your woman is not “treating you with respect.” Ever think that YOU’RE the one not respecting HER? EVER THINK OF THAT, YOU KNUCKLEHEAD?

Dear God, that feels so good to say!

A girl respects courage. I wish guys knew this. Know how many guys I’ve had to lead? Many, so many–because they themselves would not lead. They wanted me, but only sort of. I have such a bad temper, but I rarely let it come out. Instead, I’ve learned to slam the door in their faces and hole up inside the castle that is my heart, writing up yet another guy as “Jerk.”

Guys are afraid of commitment. I’ve been told this by guys before. Just man up. Do I fear commitment? Heck yeah. But fear never stops me.

Guys love the pleasure of a woman’s friendship, as assuredly as they love the pleasure of our bodies. Oh, it is so SATISFYING to be liked by a girl. It’s fun to play with her emotions. “Girls are exciting,” and all that jazz.

Oh yes, I’ve been around the block a time or two. I know how guys minds work. Forgive me my bitterness, but that’s all that has been shown me–selfish disregard for my heart. Pretty much every guy I’ve ever met has “enjoyed” the “pleasure” of my “friendship.” They told me this. You’re welcome: I let you be my boyfriend, without holding you to any commitment.

But most of all? I hate the pressure of relationships. Or when other people pressure me into relationships. I love and need my freedom.

Dating to me means the guy demands all my time, and that I’ll be vulnerable to any nasty words he says to me. This is my past–but it’s all I’ve ever known. Dating means “close hugs” and feeling like a sex object. Dating means porn in his life–that every night he’s “sleeping around” on the internet with a bunch of naked women. Dating means that he can have multiple other women in his life, and I’m supposed to be okay with that.

Oh yes, dating me is fun. More than a few guys have wanted to be “Arielle’s boyfriend.” But when that meant I expected them to treat me as a treasure and a daughter of God… Nah. I cost too much.

I always cost too much. I am never worth it to them. I speak from bitterness when I say: So many men are cowards.

I hate leading, but like Deborah of the Bible, I will lead if the guy is being a sucky leader. Yes. I said it: A sucky leader. Verbally hit me now, I don’t care.

Men are afraid to make fools of themselves. Ha! How many times have I made a fool of myself? Too many times to name–because THEY were too whatever to do it themselves. I laugh when I think that I, a weak woman, am willing to do something they themselves fear. “But rejection is hard on men.” REJECTION IS HARD ON WOMEN TOO. No excuses! THEY should be the ones taking that risk. Believe me: I know the pain of a broken heart all too well. I’ve had my heart broken and trashed more times than I can count.

Sharp are the words of my tongue. Gentle are my words so often… until that point. Then sharp are my words. A tongue lashing, I suppose. Well, maybe the Christian world needs to hear my words.

Come on, men of God! You can do better than this.

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