I don’t think I’ll ever have to worry about you trying to get back into my life. You know the kind of man you are. For all I know, you’ve stopped going to church again and are on another downward spiral. I could only be your rescuer for so long.
We were more friends than anything else. We took nature walks together. We were silly together. We stayed up for hours watching movies, or talking. You taught me Japanese, and you talked about how you always wanted to return. And I knew in my heart, that I would never live in Japan, so at some point, we’d have to part ways. I was pretty sure you’d never be happy here in Washington.
You lived out your life in the Japanese way: Everything was about outward appearance. It was all so fake. You cared so much about your reputation. You were so fearful of living in the light. And I lived every single day in the light.
You lived your life in the Japanese way: It was all about family honor. I exposed your family’s hypocrisy. That’s why they threw me out. Your mom didn’t want their “dirty laundry flapping in the wind.”
You didn’t know how to argue properly. You fled from conflict, while I relish good, healthy conflict that solves problems and makes things right again.
You didn’t even have the guts to break up with me in person. You broke up with me over text, and I despised you then. I’m done with you. I don’t respect cowards. How could I respect a man with less courage then I myself possess?
Marrying you would have sucked, though I thought for a long time that maybe you were the one for me.
But marrying you would have sucked. Your mom had you still attached to her apron strings. She ruled your life so perfectly, and hated me so greatly. Though I thought she loved me. I would have gone to the moon and back for her. I thought I was a blessing to your family, until the day they turned against me and threw me out like dung.
Your mom is as bad a coward as you yourself are. Maybe that’s where you get it. She didn’t even have the guts to challenge me to battle face to face. She knows she would have lost. Instead, she tried to get her way in underhanded ways. When I changed the game rules, telling her she could meet with MY mom, she refused. Instead she said: “Oh, I’m busy today. Just leave the stuff on my front porch.” I bet she was hiding in her house, pretending the world didn’t exist.
Wow. Just wow.
I would have hated being married to you. You all would have made my life miserable. I’m glad God tore me away from you, even if, a year later, I still cry over it sometimes.
I wish you would have treated me right. I didn’t deserve the awful way you treated me. I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve.
But I’m glad to be rid of you all.