The short answer is that I had a spider crawling on me during first service and the story escalates from there. The long answer is as follows…
Well, I drove in to church and parked my truck, which was thankfully not too far out in the doonstickles. Parking is a bit nuts at times. I greeted a couple of people on the way in, then slid into an empty row of chairs and waited for church to start. I was nineteen at the time, neither a full-fledged adult, nor a part of a “youth group” anymore. In short, I belonged nowhere. And that was a wretched feeling.
I didn’t have to wait long for church to begin. Worship started, and then after several songs, everyone was seated for the sermon. It was an excellent sermon—just what I needed, and I was quite intent on it… mostly.
You see, I was having the horrible sensation of a bug crawling back and forth on the back of my neck, but I figured it was just my dratted imagination, except… it didn’t stop. And after about a half hour or so, I came to the conclusion that it was some nasty, small skittering bug.
I figured the worst it could do was bite me, and I wasn’t keen (or brave enough, whichever you prefer) to get up from my seat and face the sea of people. And besides, it was a VERY good sermon. I didn’t want to miss a bit of.
So I put up with the bug, and by the end of service it had stopped its skittering, and I figured that it had left. You may call me brave if you wish because I, umm, highly am… umm… “dislike” Yes! I dislike spiders. It would be quite the compliment, but I will say this: It’s pathetic to be more afraid of fellow church-goers than a spider. Introvert…
I hurried out of service after the last song ’cause I had to run to Office Max real quick-like (if I used my brains, I probably would’ve done a double check to make sure the dratted bug was gone), then I hurried back and trooped up to the high school room where the 4th and 5th Sunday school was being held.
I dealt with a name tag crisis (they had misspelled his name), and then played some Tom Ball. What is Tom Ball, you ask? Tom Ball is what you get when you change rooms and no longer have a gutter ball table, but a pool table, and one of the teachers is very creative with inventing a new game.
Then some “puppies” (the five spritely, blonde-haired girls decided that they all should be puppies that day) called for my attention. I was talking with them when Miss Leeli pointed to the back of my shirt collar and squealed out: “You have a spider on your back!”
My first reaction was: “OH MY GOSH I’VE HAD A SPIDER ON MY BACK FOR THE PAST TWO HOURS?!!!”
Out loud I said: “Well, brush it off.”
But by now it had turned from one of them squealing to all five of them squealing, so I wasn’t going to get any help there. (I suppose they figured I was an adult and could deal with it.) So, I took off my jacket, found the nasty little thing, and brushed it off.
I didn’t dispatch of it though. It’s probably still up in the high school room and will crawl about on the back of some other girl’s neck and freak them out. If I hear a scream coming from the high school room, I’ll know what it’s about.
Unpleasant. (The spider crawling about, that is.)
Anyways, then we had homegroup that evening, but I was stuck at home because of dratted homework. Well, I was on email (nobody laugh) and I got a reply from Professor O’Reilly on my Radiolarians/Diatoms email (just think “opal gems” and ocean stuff. There’s a better definition, but I’ve already forgotten it). The email basically said: “By the way, I’m not feeling well, so there’s no class tomorrow.”
After sending him a “get better soon, praying for you” reply (he will become a Christian yet. I have faith), then it was a matter of: “Hmm… Oceanography homework? Or homegroup?”
Big surprise: Homegroup won.
So I hopped in my truck, drove over to the Kerrs’s, and made a grand entrance (they were probably right in the middle of some deep theological discussion, and I interrupted them).
After I made my quick speech of “Science class got cancelled,” I ever-so-gracefully made my way through the living room and sat down next to Mom.
Well, it turned out they weren’t talking theology, but were sharing adventure stories, what with this being our first meeting of the year, us and having some new folks—namely, the Hannays—join us.
So, I got volunteered (oh joy) to tell the next story (that’s what I get for interrupting). I thought deeply for a moment, then grinned and asked if I should tell my spider incident story.
They said yes, and apparently I relayed it so well that it gave some folks the shimmer-shakes (the part about the spider skittering back and forth).
Anyways, it was fun, and the rest of the evening was grand too.
Though, I was insulted once over the course of the evening. It was something about me commenting that I was the oldest of the kids AND the most mature, and then everyone laughing at me (can’t imagine why).
Oh the joys (and cleverness) of me.