I honestly think you’re the only one I’d really trust to take care of me. I had a great day today. (It felt like this past summer. This summer was the best one I’ve had in a long time.) But those days are not common. I’m just not healthy like I used to be. Too many spiritual battles, or something? I feel really dinged up. Battered. Very battered. I guess I take on life like I do highland dancing, and soccer, and backpacking.
I think I’ll be better in the next few months. I’m honestly doing a lot better now. The longer days help so much because I can get outside a lot. Being trapped indoors for winter really sucks.
I can’t believe how good a day I had, actually. Absolutely nothing went wrong. If anything, everything went well and right. Talking to the school went well, and they blessed me by being very kind and understanding. The kids blessed me, like they always do (I love all my kid stories. Remind me to tell you about Joe-Cool who, I think, will make quite the lawyer when he grows up. Love that kid).
Dance class was above and beyond perfect. All the girls had fun (a goal as a teacher, honestly). I had two dancer buddies help out with a reel. AND I got to dance, which felt like old times, and I really needed that today. It’s such a great feeling. You just fall into the dance, and you see yourself in the mirror and realize how graceful you are. It’s like heaven on earth. Honestly? I’d love to have a dance studio in my house sometime. Just a wood floor space. And one wall for mirrors and a ballet barre. Rent is so expensive, and it’s not like I charge a ton for tuition.
Did you have a good day? I think about you a lot. It’s nice, that we covered all the tough stuff. You stuck it out, and I stuck it out. That’s really helped me: you staying. That’s helped me with trust, honestly. You stuck it out through the absolute worst season for me. Depression is a form of sickness, I guess. I did deepen it by helping out a lot of people too. It’s worth it, but it does leave you with a limp that affects a lot of areas of your life. I wasn’t sure if a guy would still want me because of that. God said so, but you see enough of the world, and you’re not quite sure.
The other thing about the dance mirror was that I realized I’m super skinny right now. You could pray for that. I need to rest well, and I need to eat a lot again (like I usually do. You’ve seen me at fellowship. I eat A LOT. Thank God I don’t have an eating disorder on top of everything else. Eating disorders are really rough on girls. A lot of spiritual attack).
Pray for me? I start my new job this Friday. I’m nervous, but I think I’ll be fine. I honestly am super smart and pick up new things quickly. Pray that they treat me well. This will look super good on a resume, honestly. And I think it will get me into an admin job (the high-paying ones) later.
I think I forgot dinner. I took a late evening walk after dance class. Just got back a little while ago. I hope you had a good day.
We’re going to have to talk a lot while you’re gone. I like phone chats, when I’m comfortable.