Being at church today was really good. I kept thinking, if my whole life was church then I would be so happy and healthy. Then that quote about the ship came to mind. “A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what a ship is for.” That is truth.
My church family doesn’t know what is going on. I won’t tell them, and they don’t need to know. I just help them shovel beauty bark around the church grounds and banter with the others. I try to hold back though on how hard I work, because of my back. Usually, I try to keep up with the guys. A few give me grief over my state job (they think I don’t work hard). I give them grief right back.
I think about my church and how much I love it. The work week is always insane. Morning stuff. Gobble breakfast (first breakfast, then second. Second breakfast, if I have time. Sometimes I take it with me and eat while I drive). Deal with my hair. Pick an outfit. Slip on my two rings, and the one I wear around my neck. Pack a lunch. Fill up water bottle. Feed the cats. Then it’s off to work. Afterward? Errands or teaching class or projects at home. Eventually crash, then do it all over again. But the weekend? Weekends are different. I am reminded that I have a life outside of insanity. And that my life is very much church. I didn’t walk away from God. After all those trials, I didn’t walk away from God.
And the rest of today? I have no idea. I got my main project done. And vacuuming. I got that done too (thank God). I guess I should rest my back now. Maybe read a book. A bit of grocery shopping. Stuff like that. A quiet, rainy day.
I missed seeing you, but I did have a good time at church. It helps settle me. There are still some issues with stress. I got nauseous driving over to the church (like, felt sick to my stomach). Leftover college stress, I guess. It’s rough though.
Pray for me.